Studied Stupidity

Is this even real or Is this just an elaborate prank on Jack?

What? You think that yours truly, Jack the ever audacious, is faking?! You think I do know what I’m doing and have been learning. How…how…did you know? Okay, yeah I think I do know more than I did last year, a lot more if I’m honest, but to temper that, and to keep me humble, there’s still so much I have no idea about. Gardening is complex and involved. But anyone can get in and learn, look at me, I’m actually doing it. Sure, it often feels like falling down a waterfall in a bottomless bucket, but occasionally the cataract slows and the bucket steadies and this metaphor has gotten away from me. What? No, I’m not implying anything about your eyes! Don’t make you hit you with a thesaurus, again, dear reader.

The Shirley seem to deepen in colour as they age.

Now, I have spoken before on my compost bins, rather too frequently for a recipe blog, but that’s life, sometimes you’ve got to talk compost. Beats all that bull…Woah! Family-friendly blog! Anyway, I added a whole wheelbarrow’s worth to my vegetable patch a few months ago and covered it, last I dug it it was soft, rich looking, still a bit rough. I’ve dug it again in preparation for the Cabbages and Brussels Sprouts and I tell you, no word of a lie, that it was like sinking a warm knife into butter. Put that knife down, dear reader, you’ll listen to compost talk because I’m a deft hand at swinging shovels and digging holes. Hmmm? Threatening to murder my readership? Where did you get that idea? Must be those cataracts. Anyway, the soil was so wonderfully workable, whenever I found a weed I could shake off all the soil and get to the root and get rid. It’s been turned and forked, scattered over it is fertilizer and tomorrow I rake it and then plant. There has been a lot of learning and working to get here, but it’s wonderful to look at he fruit of my labours and even better to be able to share them with a captive audience. Don’t pull at that chain so, it rattles me.

Deeply hued and rich. Unlike Jack who is pasty and poor.

These had a growth spurt while hardening-off. You have to time it as best you can.

I think now that I’m marking the beds and the pathways it’ll be best to line the paths with weed-proof fabric. The beds are the best use of he space as far as I can see. There will be a second teepee once I get even more bamboo poles. I have no idea where all I had last year went to, I think they’ve been shrinking as I seem to have all but the required size. If you were a true friend, dear reader, you’d have dashed over when I found myself in need. No, no. It’s too late now, but as the saying goes: What’s some bamboo between friends? That’s not a saying? You sure? Well, I suppose I’ll take you word for it. It’s all I’ll get from you anyway…no, I’m not bitter. Just bamboo-less.

Next in are some harlequin squash, purple and green broccoli.

The purple heart ranunculus started! I’m very excited about these.

There’ll be work all over the Summer, weeding, feeding, screaming obscenities at stunted plants. The usual. I feel that I know more this year and know when to worry and when it’s not worth worrying. I hope everything will go well, dear reader. In truth I felt that there was a presence missing, there’s an emptiness in the garden without Naru, I’ll just have to fill it with new life. I’m glad I took a chance on few seeds a few years ago, they’ve grown into something amazing. They even turned me into a gardener. Funny how life changes. Fear not, Jack might be a little more informed, but he’ll ever and always be the most humble, incredible, outstanding…hey! Get back here!