A little new growth on the stem.
RTC just refusing to stop.
Yo, Dear Reader, I haven’t been talking much about my weigh-loss journey, mostly because there are a lot of very traumatic things happening in regards my wait for surgery and this whole year has been terrible in ways I don’t even want to get into. But I’ve been talking a lot recently about how I’ve hit a wall for recipes, obviously I have more than anyone person could ever use all at once, no matter how complex the meal plan there’s still a lot of divisions in the recipes, I had to start over three times after all, each time a new bundle of limits, but I’ve always tried to pry somethin beneficial from all of the struggles I’ve been through. I’ve talked often and at length about how little help there is for life after extreme weight-loss, but I’ve recently realised that because I had such a difficult path to a mostly stable diet I’ve come to think that it’s an aberration rather than a success.
The R in RTC doesn’t stand for rest that’s for sure.
That’s about the fifth time that stem has rebudded.
I changed my diet so much and at such extremes, you have to remember that I abandoned a diet that was all my life at that point, over two decades of habits, then I had to trash my diet over and over, I had to pare off segments, add in patchwork pieces and just try to find out how to be as healthy as I can be, these days with the extreme stress it feels as if I’m failing, but I remind myself, Dear Reader, that I simply wouldn’t be alive without all that work. I’ve never seen anyone in my situation in all the reading I’ve done, I’m hardly unique, but I’m in a rare enough position that I can’t always get the help or answers I need. So, I came t a realisation, that I deserve a rest from trying to solve the issues with food that have plagued me, I solved it so often that I have back-ups for my back-ups, now it’s time to just use what I have and to stop searching for more. Those back-ups are sadly necessary, Dear Reader, the lost of one pantry staple could destroy my diet if I hadn’t worked to avoid it. I need to realise that a state of stability is where I was headed all along. I’m here, I did something incredible, now I need to just coast along. I deserve that rest.
I’ve been checking for bugs, nothing so far thankfully.
As I say things aren’t good, we’re back into another lockdown which is actually good as it may prevent hospitals overcrowding, but I think daily on he hidden costs, the lives ruined by this disease and worse by the selfishness of others, there are lives that cannot return to what they were, those can never be tracked or recorded. I don’t want this to drag anyone down, but I need a record, even if it floats away into the void of blogging posts, just to say that despite everything I’m still here, but no one deserves to suffer so much without support. I’m extraordinarily lucky to have found wonderful friends on here, that even support me when I can hardly think to send an email. Without them I think I’d be in a much worse place. So, though I’m likely to have fewer and fewer recipes, the other section will be updated periodically still, I hope that the garden posts do for you what they do for me, Dear Reader: Offer a reprieve, a moment of stillness and the closest thing to peace I can find these days. All I can do is harden my resolve to haunt the phonelines next year, they won’t keep me in the dark and they will never forget about me again. I’ve lost my year again, before it even starts, I just wanted to garden without this hanging over the year, but I will not lose anymore. I’ll be back in my usual spirits, Dear Reader, I just wanted to say that sometimes it’s enough to just be, to rest isn’t stopping, it’s not backsliding, it’s vital at times. Until next time, stay safe and take care and thank you for reading.