Wasn’t there an essay by Tolstoy wherein he suggested thumb twiddling as a replacement for smoking? Maybe you could take it up to fill in the void my absences leave. Fear not and remove the thumb from your mouth because yet again here I am, reader. Hmmm? What happened to the dear? It got to costly to continue with, geddit? No? Okay, you’ll remain dear reader, but what does that make me? Brilliant Blogger? Jocund Jack? Wondrous Writer? Special Scribe? That odd young man that makes the weird recipes?! Quiet! I’m still young. I can’t get old yet, I haven’t accomplished enough yet. I mean, I look at all these people younger than I am, with their achievements and accomplishments and I think to myself: I should start buying seeds soon. Mind like a steel trap, that’s me, I never get distracted. So, what was I saying? Carob right.
Carob marks the seventh variations for my Buckwheat Tortillas, not much to say. It tastes strongly of carob. You can make silly “pretzels” with the dough, goes well with peanut butter. I’m a tad distracted, I’m just now a few days past the two year mark waiting for my excess skin removal surgery. Whatever you call it. I’ve been thinking, a terrible habit, stick to the thumb twiddling, and it’s funny that we use the euphemism: “Struggling with their weight” to comment on someone’s weight. Or the over-abundance of same. Just a quick note, if ever you feel compelled to comment on someone’s weight to them or others regarding them, unless you’ve been through it and are still able to sympathize then don’t, you’ll feel better sure, they’ll feel worse and it’s ever more complicated than tell them to lose it. Even if you have the perfect plan, the ideal solution, just no. No. If you have any buts to address to me, please post them anywhere else, I’m not getting into this. Yes, it needs discussion, but the large, bad joke, majority go about it in the most horrifying way. So, if we’re not talking about being overweight, aka: “struggling with our weight” then what in blue blazes was the point of this? Language! There are dear readers present! Well, the struggle doesn’t necessarily end at the point the weight goes. Goes where? Quietly into the good night. Although my weight has been stable for over four years I still struggle. If I don’t watch what I eat, if I decide to binge or indulge too often it could all start to slip back on. Maybe not to the extreme it was before, when I look at old photos my heart breaks for the person I was then, but I could still edge back into bad health. If I didn’t fight with my struggle, if I didn’t overcome my struggles every day then I wouldn’t be where I am now. So, yes, even “thin” people can struggle with their weight. It’s one of the reasons I only bake once a week. I’d love to try recipe after recipe, but I can’t. My health is more important than blog posts, even more important than my readership, though you are treasured, it’s all consuming in its importance. So, if ever I’m at a lost what to post, I won’t worry. I’ll just be the best I can.
I just wanted that out of my head. I want this surgery so badly, every day I wake up and every night I go to sleep wanting it, needing it. I just wish they’d told me it’d take years, not the months they implied. It was a cruel kind of hope they gave me. Sorry, dearest darling readers, you beacons of better days, this has been mopey. You’ll forgive me right? If not then you’re no longer eggs in my coffee! Hah! Okay, back to blissful idiocy! What? Putting it on? Me? No, I’m really an idiot, I have the papers and everything. Until we meet again…dear reader.