This Little Piggy Cried…Good

There are the screwy oddballs, the eternal weird kids, those who always end up being different in every situation. Then there’s me: The king of all the weirdoes! John Q. Oddball. Pah!, reader of mine, Phooey! To put it strongly. Something has clicked into place. Perhaps we should start with a detailed breakdown in my food related trouble’s history, if you’re new here then you’re not sure if I’m being serious. My memory has more holes than a many holed thing, I was being humorous, quit it with the suggestions and put down that thesaurus! And that colander. So, yeah, Memory and I are like strangers passing in the night, we might bump into each other but that’s the closest we’ll get. Mixed metaphors, similes whatever, are awful, really, I’ll still use them, but I admit it. Where was I? I thought you knew.

Still here, bless your kind heart, reader. You may or may not know, if not then apparently you don’t care *Sniffs* No, I’m fine, about my gelatine intolerance, fathead, gelatine goes in and my stomach hurts like hell and well, it doesn’t always stay down, it never does without a huge effort of will. So, I cut it out years back. Smart thing to do, right? When I was going gluten free a lot when out. I’ve struggled with this my whole life, but it’s only now that I realised I’ve also struggled with pork. I always found it too heavy, I never connected that it was the same feeling when I ate gelatin. So I ditched pork for the most part, this is why I eat so much chicken, curious reader, pudding went with oats, gluten free sausages almost always have a thickener I can’t eat. I ditched ground pork too. I rarely buy packaged meat. But today I finally noticed when eating ham (Gluten free, starch free etc) that my stomach hurt, the same way, I used to assume I’d just been eating too much or something, but I was eating this plain and the same feeling occurred.

Now, Spanky, shhhh, let me be facetious. Abit of a possibly graphic, scary bit here in this so skip it if you’re squeamish. Look we’ve always got our issues due to intolerances, food issues, whatever you call this collective cluster, er, fudge, so I spent a long time, vomiting, I mean years, brutal, painful puking, I warned you, so I learned to hold it in. That’s not a life skill anyone should cultivate, but it happened, so when I eat something that going to make me ill now, I don’t do it on purpose, it just can happen, the thing is I don’t notice that the food has made me ill. I just block it out. Now, that’s dangerous, I admit, it’s a side-effect of being such a mess for so long.

(You’re safe now) So it took me a long time to figure this out. Sounds stupid, but that’s how tough it can be living with so many food related issues. Thankfully this doesn’t affect me much now, as I’ve said I already cut most of it out. I don’t know why I have so many troubles, I’ve been doing all this on my own and that’s terrifying all the time. I had no real choice. Get help if you can, but if you can’t then be smart, safe and careful. Your health is important. Without it you can’t always be you. I just wanted to share this to show that this kind of lifestyle is rarely as simple as: eat this, or: do that. Maybe when I’m dead I’ll be donated to science and they’ll figure me out. Personally I want to be made into fertilizer and added to a memorial tree, but knowing what causes all this would be cool too. Not that I’d know. Screw it, I’ll go be a tree! This has been a ramble, I feel better, this is just another dip in the road I’m travelling. Until later.


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