2BR02B

 photo WP_20160714_003_e_zpsm1nonfzh.jpgAn informative guide for tattoo after-care can be found here.

Let’s pretend, imaginative reader, that this is a flow of conscious post rather than an aimless ramble. No, don’t strain so hard or you’ll pop something. So as you can see I got my commemorative. A bit early, but next month will mark four years with the weight off. Ten stone (140 pounds, the weight of my tattoo artist funnily) lost, for anyone new. I’m embarking on another round of healing, babying and fretting. There’s a lot of work in tattoos, and if I may be permitted to climb onto my soap box, no objections?, good, I just want to say this: If you do want a tattoo, can’t wait to get inked, need it etc, even if it is important then it can still wait. Yeah, I waited the better part of a decade for my first and I’ve never looked back. If you love the idea of a tattoo, if you have an idea, just sit on it for a while, if it’s really so enduring then the wait won’t matter. If it isn’t then maybe you’ve saved your skin some trauma. That’s all I wanted to mention, I don’t like giving unsolicited advice, but I just don’t want to give the wrong impression about tattooing’s seriousness.On the fun side: I have a new tattoo! And it’s itchy. Oh, lord, it’s itchy. It’ll have many stages to go through before it’s done. At least a month of healing. Probably more to really settle. So, you and many other’s will ask what is this bro thing. Well, lemme see if I can remember this from memory:

To be, or not to be that is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of trouble. …(Oops forget this) … To sleep, perchance to dream.

I’m getting there. So yes, it’s the begging of the famous quote from Romeo and Juliet, kidding, it’s King Lear, okay, Hamlet. It’s actually the title of a Kurt Vonnegut novel. I’m a huge fan of his and Shakespeare was what got me back into reading. I read Romeo and Juliet in tiny print in a huge  book of plays. I read Vonnegut because I didn’t know what that string of letters and numbers meant. So, that’s part of it. the other is bit darker. Back in the fat-days I had just two choices, really, a choice like Hamlet, to take action or to sink below the waves. Celiac disease, that I didn’t know I had, nightshade intolerance, histamine intolerance, same, depression, social anxiety, agoraphobia and ten stone of crushing weight. So I took action, after three times denying it was anything other than the depression. I don’t talk about my depression much because I don’t want to elaborate about it, I’m done tearing myself up to make others feel better. Excuse me this one time, cover your eyes if needs be, but, put simply, fuck that. I’ll always deal with all of this. I’ve had depression my whole life, I’ve struggled with weight since my teens. But here I am. I’m still standing, better than I’ve ever been, stronger than most people will ever know. I’m still largely a mess, broken in ways I’ll never share. No disrespect to anyone reading this, but no unsolicited advice please, the same reason I keep shut is I know how it feels. I guess what I’ve learned after four years is that there is always hope. It’s slippery, tenuous at best, but it’s there. Never give it up. Never let anything crush you. I’m writing prayers on the temple of myself, so that I’ll hear them time and time again. Prayers for hope, prayers of remembrance, prayers for happiness.Etched forever so I’ll never forget them.

This post has gotten away from me. Don’t think badly of me if anything I said comes across as harsh or ignorant. I’m still learning who I am in all this. It’s confusing, scary, wonderful, amazing, terrible and every other adjective you can find. Just think of me as your pal, often-times Jack, always grateful for all your support. This is a milestone, not one of great importance, but every day with the weight under control is an accomplishment. I’ve never slipped up, never faltered. I have surgeries to go, healing to be done in body and mind and I know I’ll never be perfect, but as a cartoon fish in a bathtub once said: There’s no such thing as perfect, you’re beautiful as you are. With all your imperfections you can do anything.

Cartoons and Shakespeare. So it goes. Heh.

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