Oh, dear reader of mine, hold poor Jack for he’s all shook up. No doubt there are gardeners of note, of experience tutting at poor Jack’s struggles, they sit in their greenhouses, probably on a throne of vines, with nary a thought for idiots like myself and you, where are you going dearest reader? Be an idiot with Jack! Okay serious discussion time. Nah, back to silliness. I’ve been caught with my pants down, no not literally, I mean I’ve been caught on the hop, yeah I know you’d hop with your pants down too. Okay, I’ve been caught unaware. Better? Yeah, I’m a real word-smith. What’s up? Well, if you remember Mystery Pumpkin, the seed that I started because I never learn. Well it’s a vine type squash.
Not only that, I had to move it and lug another squash over fences and behind bushes. Then I had to attempt to build a frame for them to climb up. There’s three butternut squash and one pumpkin. Of which the immature squash is yellow. I’m really out of my depths here and that’s not humility. Really, I don’t know how this works, I only have a vague idea thanks to Google, but no practical experience. So I bought six foot bamboo rods, plunged those into the ground outside the pot. Tied it at the top to make a wigwam and then twisted a continuous length of clothesline to make a trellis of sorts. Whether it will work is anyone’s guess. I even used an old willow climbing frame on one of the squash because it was there and I ran out of clothesline.
I had to bend the small pumpkin vine to fit as I didn’t realise how big it’d gotten. I saw it, got swamped with other tasks and then it went wild. It has a flower, a female one!, starting. I’m having fun, but at the same time I’d love a guarantee that I’m doing alright, you know? I could’ve let the squash trail along the ground but slugs, dogs, rain etc. Now I gently direct its growth and hope. The butternut wasn’t too bad as it was still fairly small, but the pumpkin took some work. I hope people don’t mind me sharing, the recipes are slow because I’ve been really busy every day. Maybe it’ll inspire someone, probably in what not to do, but still. Next stage is pantihose for the squash. That’s to support them when they grow and keep water out, not because they’d be naked otherwise. The bush squash get coffee cup lids to keep them off the ground.
Consider this part two of the previous post. I’ll probably still keep you updated on the garden, but I don’t want to be a pest with too many posts. If you’re a beginner, I mean a never even been in a garden you could ask Jack for help. Though I may just start crying and entreat you to flee. Same goes for the food side of things, I know a few tricks in each, I’m not the world’s best teacher, or that good at all really. But I am here and I may know something you don’t. As for those who know plenty, well, actually go ask them. I’ll ask them too, maybe they’ll weed my garden for me. Jack be resourceful, Jack be slick, Jack be lying and wants to be sick. I can try if nothing else! Until later! *Charges into garden*