Recipes? I have a freezer full of BNS Cottage Pies, Quinoa Bread and Buckwheat Bread, not to mention the Gingerbread cooling in the kitchen. Oh, new recipes, well, make do with what you have and I’ll get onto it sooner rather than later. No, today ever curious reader I had an epiphany, which is a fancy way of saying that I realised something that was staring me in the face. Consider this a split between Jack and yours truly, yeah, okay they’re both me, it’s just that they help differentiate the posts, okay, I get it, jeez, you’re impatient today. I’m not just screwing around to inflate the word count or anything.
So just a little background. I bought some top-soil, no cheating Jack with that bottom soil, no sir. To fill in the area I dug out in the back garden. This necessitated me digging it out of a trailer, into a wheelbarrow and then navigating the narrow path to the back garden, about forty trips. So, there I was, you weren’t there stop that, I was standing in the trailer shovelling as one often does when standing in soil and I realised that after an hour I wasn’t tired, not much. I took my time, I kept hydrated, I didn’t push myself, but I wasn’t a sweaty mess. The sun was shining and it mirrored my general mood. It was strange to imagine that only a few years ago I’d still be struggling to get out of bed, brain-fogged etc. Here I was, doing the best I could and doing rather well. I think in that moment it made all this work worthwhile and proved I have gotten better. Sure my knees hurt some days and with my size some back trouble is inevitable, not forgetting my diastasis recti, which didn’t bother me today strangely. But I emptied that trailer within two and a half hours. Me! I was proud of me, proud of how I’ve helped and healed myself and in how I’ve also given myself a hand towards greater happiness. That soil will be used for growing vegetables. I’ll be spending my time in the garden enjoying it and it’s all thanks to my hard work. It’s funny how we take health for granted even when we struggle to achieve it.
So, that’s me, I’m doing things I’d never have been able to. I’m also learning that it’s okay to have limits, I have no one to apologise to when I can’t do something. It’s taken me a long time, but I’m learning I don’t have to be perfect because no one, no matter how much they convince themselves, is perfect. I’m doing all I can to be happy, I hope you’ll stick with me and eventually see me reach more of my goals. There’s a lot I don’t know, but I’m willing to learn, there’s a lot I can’t do, but I’ll keep trying and there’s a lot I should be proud of and I’ll try to remember that. This thinner, healthier me has a lot of work to do, but I’m taking it one day at a time. Thanks for reading, your support means a lot more than you can know. Until next time.