To Know Hunger

I think, or rather hope this will be a short and concise post, anyone can hope, right? Heh. Today I had my monthly weight-in, I’m still staying steady at the ten stone lost mark, still waiting on my surgeries, but I won’t dwell on that today. In August it will be three years with the weight off, you might think that presumptuous of me, how can I know it’ll stay off? Well, I’ll assume that’s what you’re think as it’ll tie all of this together rather neatly. The answer is simple: I’ve known hunger.

And publish….joking of course. You see I’m still learning about weight-loss, its effects are far reaching and never in the places you’d expect, at least that’s been my experience. In going through something like this you might expect me to understands it better than most, I would too, but you see I can only piece it together and try to understand it. Trying to share it in a way that you’ll understand too is even more complicated. I’m piecing together a puzzle and then trying to explain what it looks like to you before I’ve even finished. Today a piece slipped into place, and yes my thinking is that pompous sounding, I really didn’t deliberate on the title, it’s verbatim as to how the thought went. So what is the difference between knowing hunger and being hungry?

Well, it’s this: Go on a diet and you’ll be hungry, eventually you’ll stop the diet and fall back, slowly or quickly it depends on the person, into old habits and weight gain. This seems to be the majority of people. We’re told it’s the way our brains work. Sustained weight-loss is a chimera. I’m doing it, but what do I know? I’m not a doctor, or a scientist, I’m not even a brick-layer! I’m just Jack, no, that’s just a nickname for the blog inquisitive reader, but I learned that in losing the weight I started something that will remain a lifetime struggle. I reset my calorie requirement, that took months of gruelling hunger and withdrawals, I did it alone, which is terrifying to think back on. I had to learn what my body needed to live, not what my brain though it wanted or what it needed to maintain Fat-me. I had to learn what real hunger was, I had to eat enough to fill me, to keep me alive and no less, but to also know what was needed and not be afraid to eat, that’s a very real danger too. I had to be careful not to make myself ill. I, as I’ve said, had to know hunger.

Losing weight is only the start, people assume that’s the end, but as I’ve often said this is a journey that never ends. And as I said before I’ve got more questions than answers, you’ll have to figure this out for yourselves. That’s not what most people want to hear. I can tell you how to lose weight, eat less, and I can tell you how to keep it off, keep eating the same amount, but the drive, the will, the strength is for you to supply. If you can figure out an easier way then tell me. For now I’ll eat well, eat enough and I’ll live my life. In Five months or so I’ll be three years thin. I hope by then I’ll have had a surgery or two and I can start getting on with this new life and way from this limbo. I’ll have to plan how to mark the occasion, at least I know I won’t go back to how I was. You know why, right? Because…*Points at title*

As always, as it remains ever true, anyone can do this if they’re willing, I don’t know if these posts will ever help anyone, I can only hope they will and if nothing else they’re proof that this is possible. If your ever faithful friend here can accomplish it, anyone can. Until next time, thanks for reading.

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