Scones and Struggles

 photo IMGP3798_e_zps7lpsjlcy.jpgReady to be Jam Jammed Hyped Up…what? It’s a reference…to a twelve year old, obscure skating game…shush.

Just one update before I talk about something that’s been bugging me. Nothing too huge here, my Buckwheat Scones now have the option to make a single serving, or two scones if your prefer. They don’t keep so I wanted to be able to make enough for one go and not try to eat way too much at once. The other thing I wanted to touch upon deals with, well, I suppose it deals with weight-loss and food intolerances etc, I do ask myself if I should be the one to talk about this, but there’s so much horrible information out there I feel like I should at least say something. This isn’t a black and white argument, it’s not even an argument. Just think of it as a letter to fat me, you know the drill, things I wish I’d known myself when I was 10 stone (140 pounds) heavier.

Where to start is always tough with me, I’ll just dive in. I’m seeing a lot of people making some terrible food related choices around the web, fad diets, misinformed people teaching others, all those terrible things. The  most egregious one is the over simplification of changing your lifestyle.  Especially how much or how little you should do, there are two schools in this (The internet loves black and white and I’m grey all the way through) the all and the nothings, you know it. The gym nut who wants everyone to be like them and the unwilling person who’d rather drag everyone down than do anything themselves. You see this is a problem because each provides an excuse for us not to improve. I can’t workout like that person so I won’t do anything. I’m much better than that person, they do nothing, so I don’t have to improve. So, you see I’m not talking about them, they’re just there to illustrate a problem. It’s not even about what path you’ll take, it’s whether you’ll even start and we all should, even if it’s just a short jaunt, start. Staying still leads to atrophication and that’s never a good thing. It’s so easy to stop doing the right thing, our brains are wired that way. Start losing weight and suddenly you’ll feel you deserve to eat what you want. Start going to the gym and you’ll feel you deserve to rest all you need. There are probably better people out there to explain this than me, but I’ll give an example: I wasn’t feeling inclined to eating junkfood the last few weeks, no biggie, it happens, but as soon as I decided I wouldn’t bother, my brain decided it needed it, with an unholy passion.

That’s the problem I’m trying to explain. You’re going to be the one to make yourself fail. Even when you’ve started your diet or lifestyle change, it’ll be you who has to keep it going, but remember that the struggle is yours to deal with, no matter how hard and I’ve been through a lot, and still am, and I know ultimately if I screw up it’s on me, it affects me and me alone. It’s also easy to project this onto others, forgiving them for their excuses because you feel they must have it worse, but it doesn’t matter if they do, they need to be held accountable for themselves as do you. The upside of this is that you need to remember to praise yourself, that’s the part I still struggle with. I remember being praised when I lost the weight and really not being able to deal with it, I mean I did it so it mustn’t be a big deal, right? That’s the way I thought. That’s a trap that’s dangerous too as you’ll be more likely to stop if you keep forgetting to be confident and proud of yourself. It’s hard, I know, but when I say that I know there are people who say it is and go off course because I’ve given them the excuse, whilst there are others who feel a bit better and hold steady.

It’s difficult to talk about it because I can’t help feel I’m pushing someone away from their goals, but I need to learn that it’s up to them to keep at it. Nothing should deter you from getting better, especially a lack of self-confidence. I don’t know if this has made any sense, I’m trying to talk to someone else, but I’m here listening too. Fat me is still there under the surface and it’ll always be there, but there’s this other me, who avoided the traps and worked so hard to be better and I know I need to listen to them too. Just listen to your self, make yourself stay on course, make no excuses, but take no undeserved  disparagements. Take in everything and filter it through thoroughly, no matter what’s being said make sure your taking in what’s important not just what suits you. This whole part of the world is a mess, it’s a quagmire that only you can navigate, people can help somewhat, but it’ll always be you talking one step forward, don’t be afraid to push yourself when you hesitate towards something positive, nor forgive yourself when you’re doing your best.  Maybe I shouldn’t say anything, but I think that’d be worse. If this makes you think a little, form a better view of things, then it’s worth it. I’m not giving out the answers, I’m just asking a different question and sharing what little I know. Thanks for reading, until later.

 photo IMGP3797_e0_zpss1niqxyo.jpgThe scones came out just fine like this. A little lighter than usual, but that might have been the oven.


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